Gunnar_Zarncke comments on How to come to a rational believe about whether someone has a crush on yo - Less Wrong

-3 [deleted] 14 May 2015 12:10PM

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Comment author: Gunnar_Zarncke 14 May 2015 08:46:46PM 1 point [-]

People solve this problem by making bigger and bigger signals at each other, until either one side stops making the bigger signals or until the signals are so big you can't ignore them, (also known as "flirting")

Is that so? If yes I'd like to really highlight that because at least for me that would be new and valuable information (introvert speaking here). Or is this a culture-specific 'protocol'?

Comment author: ChristianKl 15 May 2015 10:08:34AM 3 points [-]

The extend to which people engage in plausible deniable signals is culture specific.

I know a guy who's good with women who goes by the principle that whenever he would like more intimacy with a woman he voices that desire in the NVC way. For him not standing up for his own desire would be not respecting himself enough to believe his desire is important.

There are social circles where it works to say: "Hey, I would really like to interact with you and feel uncomfortable because at the moment I don't see a good way to start an interaction. I would like to cuddle with you today."

There are cultures and social circles where girls play hard to get, there are cultures where they don't.

Comment author: sixes_and_sevens 14 May 2015 09:28:00PM 3 points [-]

I'm pretty sure flirting works more or less the same in most of the Western world. As a general strategy for gauging interest with plausible deniability, I imagine it's universal.