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bogus comments on Strategies and tools for getting through a break up - Less Wrong
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For the record, I do agree with this. I would never suggest that a depressed person should not be dating - far from it. In fact, I wouldn't even see such a relationship as being "low quality" in any real sense. What I meant to say is that I would certainly put more effort than usual into keeping the emotional channels open - and yes, this would be separate and in addition to the usual support you might give to someone who's going thru depression. Because, while social support and attachment are related, they're not the same thing, and it's all too easy unfortunately to work towards the former while neglecting the latter.
Definitely! Attachment was the main problem I think. Attachment requires a confluence of a lot of happy emotions at high levels and in connection with a specific person. Happy emotions yes, but not at high enough levels I think.
For the record, after I wrote my last post I realized I had never actually asked him if my best guess of why he ended it was accurate. According to him, mostly accurate but my low conscientiousness was less of a factor then I assumed, but low energy was a factor in terms of me wanting to do things with our mutual friends and him not wanting to.