I see. The origin of these values, which I will assume you could get precise enough to use as metrics for judging possible physical futures, is still effectively the utility function in your brain, no?

You could take a snapshot of your preference / value network at any time and define what is right accordingly, but I'm not clear on how it becomes a "feature of the universe". It is objectively true that different futures will have different scores according to that particular set of values and preferences, but paying any attention to that set is contingent on your existence and arrival at the state where the snapshot is taken.

It's odd. From what you've described I don't think we disagree at all on the substance of the situation, but are just using some words differently. I think this line may hold the key:

For the purpose of dealing with other people with different preferences it is not that much different from moral relativism.

:)