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Salemicus comments on Stupid Questions June 2015 - Less Wrong
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This is a perfect exemplar of something I really hate about this website. A poster asks for advice about how to buy a diamond, and instead he gets mostly replies saying "don't buy a diamond." I will try and actually be helpful.
My advice would be:
Being pedantic, the original question was
and your first suggestion was
This seems like a reasonable suggestion. But I think you applied the same heuristics as others, just less far. Those heuristics being "infer motives from question; give advice satisfying inferred motives". The motive you inferred seems to have been "I'd like to propose, and I'd like my girlfriend to end up with a diamond ring". Others seem to have inferred something closer to "I'd like to propose with a ring with a pretty stone in it".
Basically I think that "being helpful" is a difficult game, and "answer the question as asked" doesn't lead to optimal helpfulness, and I don't have a good solution for this.
Well, it's hard to give actually useful advise in that category, but coming up with a reason not to buy a diamond is an easy way to signal your cleverness.
examples of reasonably pretty looking amazon rings http://www.amazon.com/AnaZoz-Jewelry-Elegant-Platinum-Engagement/dp/B00YJH9IG2/ref=sr_1_6?s=apparel&ie=UTF8&qid=1433199898&sr=1-6 http://www.amazon.com/AnaZoz-Platinum-Austrian-Crystals-Elements/dp/B00YJHD94O/ref=sr_1_30?s=apparel&ie=UTF8&qid=1433199898&sr=1-30
gold plated: http://www.amazon.com/AnaZoz-Jewelry-Elements-Austrian-Crystals/dp/B00YJHIMW8/ref=sr_1_14?s=apparel&ie=UTF8&qid=1433200135&sr=1-14
in the ~$100 range not the $5 range as above: http://www.amazon.com/Size-10-Sterling-Diamond-Wedding/dp/B00PDQY4SK/ref=sr_1_12?s=apparel&ie=UTF8&qid=1433200210&sr=1-12&keywords=gold+plated
Meta: You raise an interesting point about not getting the answers you want. Being aware of the barrier to communication I can only say, "be specific". I have found similar problems when posting here and also in other critical-thought places. It led to my being specific in this recent discussion post twice over.
I would not be blaming the community for this result; but rather the clarity of the way the question was asked. The top post can be edited if needed; or asked again and phrased differently if necessary.
Also the original post did say
indicating an awareness of alternative options and a willingness to go for alternatives.
Err... I don't know. Proposing with a fake £10 ring sounds cheesy to me. You can always go shopping together for the wedding bands :-)
GIA and AGS certificates are both fine. EGS and IGL are more iffy in the sense that they will grade a diamond higher than GIA or AGS would -- downgrade their ratings one or two notches for comparison.
Well, the first choice is between yellow and white -- some people want yellow (gold) jewelry. In white, do NOT buy white gold, it's rhodium-coated and the coating wears off. You are supposed to renew it every few years. Buy either platinum (expensive) or palladium (less so).
I agree it would be cheesy to propose with something fake-looking, but you can buy a really nice-looking ring for that price, that she is unlikely to realise isn't real (unless she's a jeweller). I proposed that way and afterwards when I told my fiancee that we had to buy a real ring, she was surprised that the ring wasn't real. Maybe I shouldn't have told her :)
The problem with non-GIA certificates is that because GIA is the standard, the reason that anyone submitted to a non-GIA authority is that they think they'll get a higher price if they sell it with a non-GIA certificate. In which case you, as customer, are paying more for the same diamond...
This is true. As the fiancee wears both gold and silver, I assumed she was OK with both.
A friend of mine proposed with an engraved multitool... that's a very special pair of people though.
I know a guy who met his fiancee while working as a volunteer on an art installation in New York. He proposed with a nut (of the nut-and-bolt kind) from that installation :-/
She accepted :-)
How would you respond if a poster asked for advice as to how to best transfer money to Nigeria in order to receive a large amount of money in payment for this service?
That is a really bad analogy. When sending money to Nigeria you expect more money and will receive nothing. When buying a diamond you expect a diamond and will receive a diamond. Your personal ideas about its value are quite irrelevant here.
I would respond with extra information in the areas of people who have experienced similar as well as advice in the area.