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David_Bolin comments on An overall schema for the friendly AI problems: self-referential convergence criteria - Less Wrong
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Because the things that people would do if they believed in and acted as though they believe in life after death are profoundly weird, and we don't see any of that around. Can you imagine the same people who say that the dead "went to a better place" being sad that someone has not died, for instance? (Unless they're suffering so much or causing so much suffering that death is preferable even without an afterlife.)
You are assuming that human beings are much more altruistic than they actually are. If your wife has the chance of leaving you and having a much better life where you will never hear from her again, you will not be sad if she does not take the chance.