As I said in my third paragraph, I think that particular question is some way removed from the points originally at issue in this discussion. But to both of those my reaction is "well, kinda". In more detail (reluctantly because I think it's a big digression):
I don't see any inconsistency in the above; my positions on the two questions aren't identical, for reasons tightly bound up with the ways in which the two questions themselves aren't identical.
I don't see any inconsistency in the above
I'm not attacking your position :-) It's just that I expect that my reformulation will bring a different set of responses from some people than the original one.
Speaking from personal experience, finding the right relationship can be HARD. I recently came across a rational take on finding relationship partners, much of which really resonated with my experiences:
http://waitbutwhy.com/2014/02/pick-life-partner.html
http://waitbutwhy.com/2014/02/pick-life-partner-part-2.html
(I'm still working my way through the Sequences, and lw has more than eight thousand articles with "relationship" in them. I'm not promising the linked articles include unique information)