The thing is, I haven't really worked out how to capture the intuition I have that being unbothered by being offended is a function of good mental posture whereas being really fast at mathematical computations isn't.

Presence seems to help with mathematical computations and also with not getting offended. Presence happens on of those words that's mystic for a lot of people, so let me try to put forward an operational definition.

There a meditation I have done where the group sits together and the only order is too be present. From time to time the leader of the meditation rings a really loud bell. Everybody who get's shocked by the sound isn't present. While the people that do get shocked are present.

Unfortunately both psychopaths and Buddhists monks are able to not get shocked by loud noises in this way. I think it's worthwhile to exercise caution in that area because we don't want to turn people into psychopath that don't feel important things.

For that reason I would advocate against doing Scientology style desensitation training even when it will put you into a mental state where you don't get easily triggered anymore.