"rationalists don't win"

Depends on what 'win' means. If (epistemic) rationality helps with a realistic view of the world, then it also means looking behind the socially constructed expectations of 'life success'. I think these are memes that our brains pattern match to something more suitable in an ancestral environment. Hedonic treadmill and peter principle ensue. I think that a realistic view of the world has helped me evade these expectations and live an unusual fulfilled interesting life. I'd call that a private success. Not a public one. With my abilities I surely could have met higher expectations ('get rich', 'famous scientist',...) but as the OP notes: This would have meant hard work in any case - and thus trade-offs in other places e.g. family. There are always trade-offs. Rationality makes you more aware of that. And helps finding a Goldilocks Solution somewhere away from dead-beat extremes. Or maybe I'm just lazy but smart at rationalizing it :-)