ChristianKl comments on The application of the secretary problem to real life dating - Less Wrong

5 Post author: Elo 29 September 2015 10:28PM

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Comment author: ChristianKl 30 September 2015 10:57:51AM 0 points [-]

Assume that once you find the right person - getting married (the process of organising a wedding from the day you have the engagement rings on fingers); and falling pregnant (successfully starting a viable pregnancy) takes at least a year. Maybe two depending on how long you want to be "we just got married and we aren't having kids just yet".

While getting married might be useful when you have children together there no reason in this day and age to make not having yet been maried to stop you from getting children.

Comment author: Elo 30 September 2015 12:04:39PM 0 points [-]

This is true, but I would hope for a measure of stability in order to provide a stable environment for children, something easier done with the income of two humans, not one.

Comment author: Lumifer 30 September 2015 03:22:48PM 2 points [-]

You think it's mostly a matter of money?

Comment author: Elo 30 September 2015 07:41:26PM 1 point [-]

A significant matter than is:

easier done with...

I don't think I could say what it is

mostly

a matter of.

You appear to have some idea of what it is of; and what it is "mostly" of. I am interested in what sits on that list and what you find "most" or less "most" significant on that list.

Comment author: Lumifer 30 September 2015 08:06:17PM 1 point [-]

I am not sure what are you asking -- what conditions/factors do I consider to be useful/necessary for successful child upbringing?

Comment author: Elo 30 September 2015 08:18:31PM 1 point [-]

apologies.

what conditions/factors do I consider to be useful/necessary for successful child upbringing?

yes. this.

Comment author: Lumifer 01 October 2015 12:36:59AM *  1 point [-]

Well, that's an awfully general question. Out of factors that you have some influence over (as opposed to e.g. your own IQ or temperament):

First, good genes. Yes, you can't change yours but you have a choice of a set out of which the second half will be picked. Use it wisely :-)

Second, money in its usual function of being able to get you what you need including such things as e.g. safety and, to a limited extent, time. Of course there are the usual problems in that money itself is commonly a trade-off against your own time and stress, so this is highly dependent on the circumstances. But children are expensive :-/

Third, a support network of relatives and friends (hopefully including your spouse).

Fourth, later, a good street/school environment.

Of course, people managed to bring up kids lacking all of the above, so it's not a set of necessary things, only useful ones.

Comment author: dankuck 30 September 2015 05:02:42PM 0 points [-]

It's definitely more than money. But it's all stuff that's easier with two humans than one.

Comment author: Lumifer 30 September 2015 05:07:07PM 2 points [-]

But it's all stuff that's easier with two humans than one

Here is an example of two humans: a mother and a grandmother. This works?

Comment author: dankuck 30 September 2015 05:30:25PM 0 points [-]

Yes, definitely. It's very much a question of someone's situation whether they have additional persons or they need to find some.