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polymathwannabe comments on Open thread, Jan. 25 - Jan. 31, 2016 - Less Wrong
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Note to readers: I never said it was hypothetical.
And, the textbooks written about my personality type say I have a sensitivity to other people's issues.
And, I'm not starting from zero; over the years I've had office mates and others who acted in a similar way and so I know what works.
Strangely, some of these people may actually have wanted my approval or recognition. Very few get that, even those who are well-behaved. I think I know what causes this, but that info is classified - sorry.
They may have spotted ways that we two are similar. Of course, the idea that I am similar to these verbal bullies is repugnant to me but it's very likely accurate. In my whole life maybe a half dozen people fit this pattern.
Also, there are books on "Verbal Judo" but they are hard to come by from my local library. I scoop up what I can. As long as all I do is counterpunch, block-then-strike, I feel I have the moral high ground.
But, that aside, if this is a false positive for a mind/head/word game, what do you make of this exchange? Is the literal meaning the only thing going on?
In your whole life, have you ever met someone who "put one over on you", left you with the feeling that you've been "had" and you couldn't even verbalize how? If yes, in retrospect, what really went on? Did you act optimally? What would you change for future encounters of this type?
Thanks for reading. :)
Of course, lots of people have attacked me verbally. But they don't know me closely enough to really know how to insult me. So their worst attacks don't even need a reply: they're hopelessly misfired. I can let them yell as long as they want. The part of me they want to hurt is one they can never reach and will never see.
Even with that protection, in my experience it's emotionally exhausting to be constantly expecting attacks from every interaction. If you stop seeing an aggressive intent behind every comment, your life will be much less stressful. People are essentially good, and most of them are too busy going through their own day to bother ruining other people's.
In fairness, the person (OrphanWilde) playing the part of A in that little dialogue (1) gives at least one person other than WhyAsk (namely, me) the impression of playing dark-artsy status games in his comments and (2) has described himself in so many words as a practitioner of the Dark Arts. In that context, it's not so crazy for WhyAsk to suspect something of the sort may have been going on.
Perfectly fair. (Given that I get the impression polymathwannabe doesn't like me very much, I appreciate the neutrality of the choice to defend, however, so I'd prefer not to discourage them in the general case.)
I'm sorry that I gave you that impression. I may dislike your political opinions, but I don't dislike you.
Oh! Thank you for stating that.
It's not something to apologize over, though, in either case. I think there are perfectly valid reasons to dislike me. I think there are valid reasons to like me, as well. I tend to treat like/dislike as a preference statement, rather than a value statement. (Which isn't universal, but people generally tend to use the word "hatred" with regard to negative valuation.)
We've gotten derailed.
All we need do is ask O. Wilde what his or her intentions were in those posts.
I was telling you not to say those sorts of things to people, because they reveal more about you than you probably expect they do, and reveal things about yourself you don't want to be advertising.
Welcome back.
Can you be specific, without paraphrasing? And no ad hominem, please.
At this point you might as well let the cat all the way out of the bag, if there is a cat to be let out.
Am I in physical danger? If yes, from whom?
BTW, this is about the strangest thread I've ever participated in. I guess it's an opportunity to learn, which is what I hope I'm doing on this forum.
[Edited: Content removed.]
Don't quit your day job.