helldalgo comments on A Rationalist Guide to OkCupid - Less Wrong

25 Post author: Jacobian 03 February 2016 08:50PM

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Comment author: helldalgo 04 February 2016 04:08:36PM 0 points [-]

Were I single, and did not have memories of you being a horrible person, I would respond positively to that message.

On the other hand, I AM on the autism spectrum and am told that I'm not a representative example of the group "Human Females."

Comment author: OrphanWilde 04 February 2016 04:14:58PM 1 point [-]

It would be effective on most people, I think, regardless of gender. The "you were kinda cute" part flatters the ego, while being weak/soft enough a compliment to avoid making somebody suspicious that that is what you are doing. The "I was too shy to talk" suggests self-improvement and self-awareness, which are attractive qualities on their own; and then the message itself conveys confidence, which paired with that self-awareness and self-improvement, implies that the confidence is both genuine and earned, avoiding arrogance and hubris both.