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Jacobian comments on A Rationalist Guide to OkCupid - Less Wrong
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"Why are people seduced by the pernicious meme that finding love requires no deliberate effort?"
Possibly because relaxing about their dating prospects makes them more attractive. For people whose effort looks like desperation, they may have better results if they stop trying so hard.
EDIT: I think I just did the thing that has been annoying people. I searched for the contrarian statement I could make, rather than any other type of commentary or response. I'm sorry.
I think we may mean different things by "effort".
I referred as effort to the invisible things you do behind the scenes to maximize your odds, like spending hours reading profiles, crafting strong messages and analyzing your matches. I broadly agree that when you get to the visible part, i.e. going on the actual date, you probably shouldn't treat it as intense labor and relax into who you actually are - more on that in Part 2.
That's a good distinction, and obvious in retrospect. Thank you!
I'm interested in Part 2; I'll keep my eye out.