Your argument here appears to be more or less as follows. (I admit I am presenting it unkindly.)
It may well be true that (if it were possible) reestablishing a strict no-sex-before-marriage norm would result in less bad sex. But that seems like a very inadequate reason to think that it would be a good thing, even for people who are exceptionally concerned about reducing the incidence of rape.
It's not clear to me whether you're really intending here to advocate for a return to no-sex-before-marriage norms, or whether this is intended to be a reductio ad absurdum of (some) anti-rape activists' positions: "These people want a strict consent culture, which would probably reduce rape but only at the cost of making sex more awkward for everyone. That would be the same sort of tradeoff as switching to a strict no-sex-outside-marriage culture. Maybe its silliness will be more obvious in the latter context."
If the former, I think I've already said enough to make it plain why I am not convinced. If the latter, I will add that the ratio of bad sex avoided to good sex prevented seems very different in the two cases.
(Of course someone who holds that there is really no such thing as good sex outside marriage will disagree. And of course I agree that someone whose position that is will probably want a strict no-sex-outside-marriage culture. But that's rather obvious and doesn't seem relevant to the rest of the discussion here.)
In the first place, I agree with Lumifer that in practice people cannot (or will not) return to a previous norm. So any actual way of addressing problems is going to be something different. So I am not "advocating" the old norm in the sense of trying to bring it about. I don't think anyone can do that. But I am suggesting that were it possible, it might be better.
It seems to me certainly true, even if not PC, that one reason that women are more likely to feel bad in the cases under discussion, is that a stable situation is more important to women...
I've started a podcast called Future Strategist which will focus on decision making and futurism. I have created seven shows so far: interviews of computer scientist Roman Yampolskiy, LW contributor Gleb Tsipursky, and artist/free speech activist Rachel Haywire, and monologues on game theory and Greek Mythology, the Prisoners' Dilemma, the sunk cost fallacy, and the Map and Territory.
If you enjoy the show and use iTunes I would be grateful if you left a positive review at iTunes. I would also be grateful for any feedback you might have including suggestions for future shows. I'm not used to interviewing people and I know that I need to work on being more articulate in my interviews.