Thanks for the link to your post. I also think we only disagree on definitions.

I agree that self-compassion is a crucial ingredient. This is the distinction I was pointing at with "while focusing on imperfections without compassion can lead to beating yourself up". Humility says "I am flawed and it's ok", while self-loathing is more like "I am flawed and I should be punished". The latter actually generates shame instead of reducing it.

I think that seeking external validation by appearing humble is completely orthogonal to humility as an internal state or attitude you can take towards yourself (my post focuses on the latter). This signaling / social dimension of humility seems to add a lot of confusion to an already fuzzy concept.