I periodically do things to get out of my comfort zone. I started years ago before a friend introduced me to LW where I pleasantly discovered that CoZE was recommended.

This write-up is about my most recent exercise: Do a Non Gender-Conforming Thing

I chose to have my nails painted. Having painted nails requires low enough effort that I have no excuse not to and, wearing them out in public is just out-of-the-ordinary enough to make me worry about how people will react. After getting them painted, I realized why girls say "My nails!" a lot after a manicure and worry about screwing them up. It took work to paint them and chipping them makes them look like shit. Can’t let that happen to me!

Then I challenged some friends to do it and gave these suggestions:

I think breaking arbitrary societal conventions and expanding comfort zones are positive things so I'm challenging a few people to try it and post a picture or video. Bonus points for a write-up of how you felt while doing it and any reactions from observers.

(Those who live in Berkeley are playing on easy mode.)

(People challenged may totally already do these! The list was limited to my imagination and ideas I could find. The idea is to get out of your comfort zone so feel free to get creative...)

Exercises I came up with:

Ideas for men:

• Get a manicure/pedicure (it's basically a massage)

• Wear (traditionally feminine) jewelry

• Carry a purse

• Play a “girly” pop song loud enough for others to hear

• Order a fruity alcoholic beverage

• Get your nails painted

• Wear a feminine outfit (or at least a pink shirt or something)

• Read/ask about fashion or some other traditionally feminine topic

Ideas for women:

• Wear a masculine outfit. (I feel like women have to try a bit harder than guys here)

• Don’t shave your legs for a week

• Don't shave your armpits for a week

• Wear a tie

• Give a guy a compliment

• Ask a guy on a date

• Don't wear makeup for a week

• Don't wear a bra for a week

• Read/ask about sports or some other traditionally masculine topic

My thoughts so far: It’s still weird for me to see my own hands. It takes me a second to recognize them as my own. “And how pretty they are!”

I'm already hypervigilant in public but we were in public in a new area and I was more hypervigilant than normal. I had to fight the urge to keep hiding my fingernails in the grocery store. I was worried that our hosts at the Airbnb we're staying at would be weird about it...

Now I'm caught between not wanting people to see my nails at all and not wanting to see them all chipped (it's hard taking proper care of them!). I'm conscious of my dad seeing this. I do weird enough things that my model of people in my tribe reacting is "John doing another thing..."

I need to get rid of them before we visit our friend’s parents so that way I don’t make a weird first impression. A lot of the discomfort has more to do with being misperceived or miscategorized. For instance, one time after getting my haircut, my shirts was covered with hair, so my friend lent me her Pink Floyd T-shirt to wear. I wasn’t defying social norms by wearing a Pink Floyd shirt, but that was not the kind of thing I would usually wear so I felt extra-aware of the potential for being perceived a certain way based on how I was dressed. Likewise, if I smoke a clove cigarette or cigar, which I do once every six months with a certain friend, I would be horrified to be falsely labeled a regular smoker.

I'll have to try this again when I'm in public more frequently to give it a fair shake.

Meta-Communication: I'm also getting out of my comfort zone because I'm not sure this is the right place for this type of post or if these kinds of posts are welcome.

Cross-Posted and editing from my Facebook. Feel free to follow me there!