The more I think about this, the clearer it becomes that I'm getting my labels confused with my referents and consequently taking it way too much for granted that anything real is being talked about at all.

"Given that some monitors are bamboozled (and no other knowledge), is my monitor bamboozled?" isn't the same question as "Given that "bamboozled" is a set of phonemes (and no other knowledge), is "my monitor is bamboozled" true?" or even "Given that English speakers sometimes talk about monitors being bamboozled (ibid), is my monitor bamboozled?" and, as you say, neither the original blue-ball case nor the bamboozled-computer case is remotely like the first question.

So, yeah: you're right, I'm wrong. Thanks for your patience.