pnrjulius comments on That Alien Message - Less Wrong
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If it says I have no qualia, it's wrong. Headaches fucking HURT, dammit. That's a quale.
And here's the point you seem to be missing: Yes, it can make the statement; but no, that does not mean it actually has the required capacities to make the statement true. It's trivially easy to write a computer program that prints out all manner of statements.