nshepperd comments on Quantum Mechanics and Personal Identity - Less Wrong
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Something happens when you teleport by copying-and-destruction. We probably agree about what actually happens. Whether you call it life or death is a choice, just as any other decision to use one word or another to describe a situation is a choice. If we take the definitions of "life" and "death" as fixed, you don't get to choose whether copy-and-destruction fits the definition or not.
It's best not to confuse choosing what happens with choosing what to call it.
The boundary of the self is in the second category.
It doesn't seem to you that the subjective experience of life or death (continuing to have subjective experience or not) is something fixed by the physical process that has nothing to do with definitions? Sure, you can "define 'self' however you like", but then it might not capture what you care about, which for most people is continuation of subjective experience.
The claim that you can define it is actually a statement about the nature of the supposed continuation of subjective existence. That is not being ignored. It is precisely what is being commented on.