Followup to: Crisis of Faith
I thought this comment from "Jo" deserved a bump to the front page:
"So here I am having been raised in the Christian faith and trying not to freak out over the past few weeks because I've finally begun to wonder whether I believe things just because I was raised with them. Our family is surrounded by genuinely wonderful people who have poured their talents into us since we were teenagers, and our social structure and business rests on the tenets of what we believe. I've been trying to work out how I can 'clear the decks' and then rebuild with whatever is worth keeping, yet it's so foundational that it will affect my marriage (to a pretty special man) and my daughters who, of course, have also been raised to walk the Christian path.
Is there anyone who's been in this position - really, really invested in a faith and then walked away?"
Those of us who leave the faith each face unique circumstances. I was not raised religious, but for three years, I fell for it hook line and sinker. I was extremely invested in it, my fiance was of my faith, I had quit all recreation (music, nonchristian groups) and chosen my college major in order that I wouldn't have to deal with the "atheist sciences". My mentor, who helped me through college was a Christian, although a different kind than I was. In my case, the tension was too much to keep my fiance and my mentor. They both are not parts of my life anymore. However, I don't think this has to be the case with everyone. The reason it happened to me is because I was very confused and had trouble dealing with the relentless probing questions I was faced with. I don't know how it is for you, but I was extremely depressed encountering the non-existence of the entity I had made my life's ambition to please and love. Having completely shut myself off to science and freethought until this point, I couldn't defend myself properly against questions as to why I would even consider evolution or morality without God. It will be important for patience on both sides if your relationships are going to remain intact. Try to reschedule discussions you don't have the energy for, but don't try to avoid discussion completely because communication is extremely important for both your dealing with this, and for them accepting it. In my case, it was depressing at first. I personally found joy in studying philosophy and reengaging myself in secular activities I loved before I was religious. That's because my main interest in religion was intellectual and moral.... You may have to deal with some splits in your social and business structure. This might be disconcerting, but I think these things are part of our life even if we don't go through huge worldview shifts. Try to find an understanding friend to help you through.