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RobinZ comments on Epilogue: Atonement (8/8) - Less Wrong
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WhatTheHellHero, maybe.
I still think the passage would be more effective presented less directly, particularly considering the relatively high intelligence level that the rest of the story seems to be writing for.
For the record, I don't agree - it wasn't subtle, but there's no dwelling on the point, either. It's just a small thing that happened, in the context of the story.