SilasBarta comments on Mate selection for the men here - Less Wrong

13 Post author: rhollerith 03 June 2009 11:05PM

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Comment author: SilasBarta 04 June 2009 12:40:47PM *  13 points [-]

Again, you seem to assume away the problem. Does no one ever leave home for college or move to a different city in your world? And whenever you do find something that could move me into the situation that you see as normal, you assume away its problems as well: what's the standard method for addressing the (1), (2), and (3) you listed? You act like it's an easy step to just casually change my "choice of friends and associates".

In any case, like others mentioned, you misunderstand the situation. At my workplace, I do know women (not single) who could introduce me to women they know. As a matter of fact, they unsolicitedly remark about how "women must be all over you!" and "some lady's going to snatch you right up before you know it" (note the similarity of their assumptions to yours). But then they inevitably don't know anyone's they'd introduce me to.

We comprise more than half of the population. We are not hard to find.

Yes, and this was the point. Of course I can "find" women, but that doesn't mean I could follow your advice with those women. I could go to the supermarket, the mall, bars, etc. and see lots of women. Are these the ones you're suggesting I approach?

Some of us are probably related to you.

I hope I don't need to explain why these women are off the list... j/k But anyway, relatives don't help if they all live far away. You were aware of that possibility, right?

In summary: Your advice is predicated on the recipient having a kind of social network that would have obviated the problem to begin with, and you don't know how a male should go about establishing such a network except based on other assumptions that aren't as likely as you think. Can you see why that might not be helpful?

And again, before you say how I must be soooo much of an outlier that I can't possibly be a representative case, keep in mind, I did get a date with a woman in a group that I joined, so really, I'm apparently not that much of a freak.