You're looking at Less Wrong's discussion board. This includes all posts, including those that haven't been promoted to the front page yet. For more information, see About Less Wrong.

Relsqui comments on A Novice Buddhist's Humble Experiences - Less Wrong Discussion

12 Post author: Will_Newsome 04 October 2010 10:40AM

You are viewing a comment permalink. View the original post to see all comments and the full post content.

Comments (41)

You are viewing a single comment's thread. Show more comments above.

Comment author: Relsqui 20 October 2010 08:30:08AM *  0 points [-]

I do something similar--I'll run through either remembered past or imagined future conversations in my head. For the past ones, I'll have myself say what I now think I should have said, to try and figure out what would have happened. For the future ones, I sometimes do productive planning ("I want to mention x when this happens"), but I also catch myself simulating other people in a way which is clearly inaccurate but leads to a highly favorable situation (like me saying the "right thing" and someone else swooning).

I have gotten some use out of that last, though. If I'm feeling bad and imagine someone saying just the right thing to me, and then me feeling better, I now know exactly what I want to hear. Then I tell the other person what that thing is, being clear if necessary that it's not that I don't know it already, but that hearing it again right now would make me feel a lot better (useful for avoiding defensiveness when the thing is, say, that they love you). There's a chapter in the Usual Error about this, which is what made me realize that I can just do that and it works. (You can insert a mental "yet" into the sentences about not being purely rational, if you like. Tsuyoku etc.)

Anyway. I think the phenomenon in general is called daydreaming, and it's normal, even the exaggerated/narcissistic-seeming kind. I feel like I see it referenced/parodied in popular culture a fair bit, and I don't see why that would be true if lots of people didn't really do it.