Another thing that helps me in stressful situations is to use cheap hacks to make the situation less stressful. As you note, sleep (or having one’s mind partially turn off) can be an avoidance response; the more painful or ugh-fielded a subject is, the easier it is to accidentally shrink away from it. When this is part of the problem, it helps to use whatever hacks you can to make the situation less stressful.
Along these lines, you might try:
Social support or companionship, if possible, to reduce your fear. (If you have a dog, study with your dog under the table, and rub his ears every few minutes. If you have a supportive friend or significant other, see if they’re willing to offer you moral support by checking in every 20 minutes to see how you’re doing, rubbing your shoulders, etc. You may be able to offer the friend moral support on their own ugh-fielded project at the same time, by working in the same room they’re working in and taking joint breaks).
A pleasant work context in other respects (e.g., a fuzzy or comforting blanket, if it’s cold where you are; something nice to sip, if you like hot beverages; a nice view out the window; a specific pleasant activity to look forward to after you finish your study session).
Listing the causes of your discomfort, in writing. For me, this hack is the miracle, although I’m not sure if I can describe it well enough to work well for others. The idea is to list out the causes of my uncomfortable feelings, in as concrete and detailed a manner as possible, but without judgment. (Just describe it like you’d describe the causes of someone else’s uncomfortable feelings.) Then, I take a good look at the consequences I’m afraid of, the traits I’m ashamed of, etc., but still from the outside, without judging myself or adding to the negative emotions. And then... the ugh field goes away; it’s as though the uncomfortable feelings got integrated out into the rest of my brain, so that, since the feelings are already propagated, looking at the task no longer induces uncomfortable updates.
Ok, let's face facts. The Internet has fried my brain. I'm a terrible hedonist and procrastinator. I have a very important test in May -- I am not exaggerating when I say that the outcome of the test matters to the future direction of my life. There are situations where failure is just a temporary setback, and there are situations where failure would be a real problem, and this is the latter. No fooling.
My Problems
1. I don't work enough. My primary distraction is the Internet, though occasionally novels happen too, and I'm capable of just staring into space and daydreaming.
2. I fall asleep during the day. I've tried getting more hours of sleep at night and it doesn't solve the problem. When I'm bored or confused, my body says "Naptime!" It can be quite embarrassing.
3. I often feel too tired/demotivated/bummed to do errands. A lot of stuff, some more important and some less important, slips through my fingers. The most important, to my quality of life, are buying necessities and cleaning my room -- I tend to put these off much too long for my own good.
4. I don't have enough measures of how well I'm doing as a student. I get confused by some abstract concepts, and sometimes I don't even notice that I'm confused.
5. I like being happy and entertained better than being stressed and bored and confused. This makes me want to work less. Not proud of this character trait but not sure how I can rewire my preferences.
Planned Solutions So Far
1. Work in a cubicle, with no computer, with a kitchen timer to keep me mindful of how many hours I spend working.
2. Plan out the material I have to learn and the time I have to learn it, and make a kibotzer.com account to see if I'm on track for my goal.
3. Track various measures of productivity (hours worked, concepts learned, problems solved, percent correct) with a Joe's Goals account. Have thresholds that I don't want to drop below.
4. Use Self Control to block all my entertainment internet sites during "working hours" (I'll leave early mornings and/or late nights free.)
5. Accumulate diverse library books relevant to coursework, and various sources of practice problems, and more notebooks and paper than I need; don't let lack of physical resources limit my progress.
6. Set aside a regular occasion for clean-up and errands.
Any other advice?
In particular, I don't know what to do about my sleepiness problem. I'm not a very regular caffeine drinker; I've started to drink Lipton tea, but I don't think I've reached the quantity sufficient to keep me awake yet, at 2-3 cups a day.
Any advice on the psychological front would also be helpful. How to stay motivated. I know what my motivation is (the consequences of failure in my situation are not pleasant) but how to keep focused on the importance of my goal, without spending all my time being miserable and frightened because I'm visualizing the worst-case scenario. I know I can fuel myself on guilt for a short time, but I don't like it much and I don't think it's practical long-term.
Yes, of course I'm aware that adults know how to work to achieve what they want. Somehow I've reached adulthood without really developing all the personal capacities that I should have. It's lousy of me, but this is where I am, and I'm ready to change and willing to take advice.