I like using other people's objection to my behaviours as a screening mechanism too. A lot of the time it is the optimal thing to do. Unfortunately, however, there are also times where there are some significant tradeoffs to be made. There is real value in selectively applying mildly unpleasant conformity so as to not limit your options.
For example at a time when I did not prefer to drink I adapted my behaviour while I was socialising with an angel investor. It just made rapport that much easier. We never used him as a source of investment but he was an invaluable source of ongoing advice and insight into the business process.
Another common scenario when socialising is that there are some people in a crowd that you wish to spend time with, and there are some people who are a waste of oxygen that you also have to get along with because they are part of the scene and you don't have the bitchcraft skills to exclude them. It can be necessary to maintain a positive reputation with the worthless folks so as to not limit your opportunities with the folks you like. Having significantly different values can contribute to alienation and simply not paying attention is not always sufficient.
I honestly think that people who give me blank stares usually are worth my attention. But that doesn't mean I think my attention to them is in the form of trying to justify myself. Some more effective ways to apply one's attention in order to minimise social awkwardness have already been supplied here - and your own suggestion (great grandparent) is one that often works smoothly.
Yeah, this. Also there's people that I just think are reasonably cool people except for this one area. And while they're cool enough people that they're not going to shun me if I don't drink, it still creates an uncomfortable aura that requires more effort on both our parts to work through.
It's been over a year since I graduated from college, but only recently have I felt like I'm officially entering the "adult world." Navigating the social arenas of the adult world requires the same basic skillsets as the college world, but a lot of the rules are different and I'm struggling to learn them. Among them is how to drink socially.
As a general rule, I don't drink. I don't like the taste of alcohol. I don't like paying the exorbinant prices that alcohol costs. I don't like the feeling of my brain slowing down and making it harder to string sentences together. I don't mind the physical disorientation - that part's pretty fun. But that part also seems to be slightly frowned upon in an "adult" setting. I'm not opposed to it for any particular moral reasons.
When I do drink, I prefer to get it over with as fast as possible, whether I'm officially drinking a "shot" or not. In college that at least had a sort of "daring" quality that was respected. But it's pretty obviously taboo at classy cocktail parties and even somewhat taboo at "casual adult" parties.
So there's a few separate questions I have:
1) Are there any good, cached buzzword phrases I can use that'll make it socially acceptable to not drink? "I just don't like it" seems to draw disdainful stares, and while I haven't tried it I get the sense that saying I'm morally opposed to it would make me look even more like a stick in the mud. Saying "it's ridiculously expensive" makes me look like a cheapskate.
2) If I must drink socially, is there a breakdown of the general social conventions I should be aware of so I don't need to have them pointed out to me over the course of the next few years?
3) Is there any particularly interesting analysis of *why* drinking is so important to social interaction? Knowing the underlying causes might at least give me some better appreciation for why I have to learn this other than "because!"