In both cases, the real problem with living in the closet is that you're forced to live without a supportive social structure.

Bingo. To expand, while this might go away in the future, most of my mental energy has been toward thinking about religion, theological arguments, objections to those arguments, and what the best course of action is for raising our two children.

So... when someone in my current social circle who doesn't know me says something like, "So what's new?"... I am left feeling like I must sound like I don't do anything with my life because I can't actually talk passionately about what I'm passionate about.

In addition, I consider what I'm attempting to be basically valiant. I had a question about a big topic and I tried to dive in hard to see what I could make of it. It's extremely disappointing to have your friends think you're doing it wrong, concluding the wrong things, reading the wrong things, thinking wrongly, etc. when you think you're doing something noteworthy and giving it your best shot.

Again, per the original post, this is even more frustrating when these critiques and views are coming from those who have never felt compelled to find justification for their religious beliefs.

So, yes, I think it's the supportive social structure that's the issue. My parents have never been believers and neither has my 15-year-older half brother. Our connection has actually increased tremendously and they area great source of morale for me.

It's tough to have been well respected by a circle and have earned a reputation of being studious, critical, analytical, nerdy, extremely persistent and determined when it comes to problem solving, intelligent and the like about a wide range of topics, and then to have that respect vanish. There was never a problem with how I went about tackling other problems... but when how I tackled this one led to non-belief, my thinking and methods were suddenly all suspect.

I have described it as not having anyone around that was simply "pro me" anymore (as in, supportive of me applying my previously admirable skills toward religion just like I did other areas).