= 27d567bc2d48d9f40e9ccc20ea370b15)
nerzhin comments on Recent de-convert saturated by religious community; advice? - Less Wrong Discussion
You are viewing a comment permalink. View the original post to see all comments and the full post content.
= 783df68a0f980790206b9ea87794c5b6)
Loading…= b715d02e85f7b3b4ae65ca3d3e450868)
Subscribe to RSS Feed
Powered by Reddit
= f037147d6e6c911a85753b9abdedda8d)
You are viewing a comment permalink. View the original post to see all comments and the full post content.
Comments (158)
I don't really know anything about your situation, your wife, your relationship. So please don't take anything I say very seriously. Desrtopa may be right, and I certainly didn't want to imply that you weren't already a good husband.
I'm really glad to hear you're in marriage counseling. That will be more helpful than anything I say.
As far as not trying to change her: you've got lots of time. If she gets thirsty, she'll let you know. What I'm advising against is trying to deconvert her so that you feel better, which is what I read (rightly or wrongly) in the line I quoted in the grandparent.
No problem, and I didn't take your statement as at all implying that I wasn't a good husband.
I did say:
That is how I see things, but would not say that this fact means I'm actively pursuing bringing this outcome to pass. I do generally leave all of this alone. It's come to the surface more lately due to discussions about children, but most of the time we just leave it be and that seems to help us do as you suggested -- rebuild around other common interests, activities, and the like.
Also, even though me feeling better would be a byproduct, I only want that to be a byproduct. That is, I'd very much like her to come to her own understanding of what I now see, not that she would deconvert specifically for my feelings.
That's a good reminder.