No problem, and I didn't take your statement as at all implying that I wasn't a good husband.

I did say:

I think my emotional satisfaction would dramatically increase if she were to deconvert.

That is how I see things, but would not say that this fact means I'm actively pursuing bringing this outcome to pass. I do generally leave all of this alone. It's come to the surface more lately due to discussions about children, but most of the time we just leave it be and that seems to help us do as you suggested -- rebuild around other common interests, activities, and the like.

Also, even though me feeling better would be a byproduct, I only want that to be a byproduct. That is, I'd very much like her to come to her own understanding of what I now see, not that she would deconvert specifically for my feelings.

As far as not trying to change her: you've got lots of time.

That's a good reminder.