By trying to convince her that her faith is wrong, from her perspective you threaten her safety and the safety of her children.

Indeed, though difficult to abstain from. I should keep this point in mind more, though.

Explicitly identify your goals and rank them.

This post and comments/discussion has quite renewed me in this area. Concretely, I am re-determined to read at least the core sequences and finish the initial books (and, consequently, goal) I set for myself HERE as well as finalize and "publish" (to blog or PDF) my statement of nonbelief started HERE.

The others are good questions -- I'm assuming they are rhetorical, but I do want to stay in the marriage and would like to raise my children to be aware of trusted and proven tools of learning, universal truths, etc., without much about the supernatural debate at all, frankly. While perhaps difficult to do, this has struck me as the most reasonable and decent thing to do. I don't want them to be "indoctrinated" atheists any more than I want them to be "indoctrinated" anything-elses.

When the time comes that they have the mental capacity and interest to pursue that question... let them pursue it. My hope for them is that they find their own answer that satisfies and is found with a reliable set of tools.

When you have a goal in mind it is easier to avoid defensive reactions and much more likely that you will achieve the desired result.

Thanks for that encouragement and for the comments in general.