Thanks for clarifying; I think that makes sense. Basically you both learned more about the biases you had, saw that they were undesirable in terms of their consequences, but also due to the "freshness" of being under their spell, you also saw what it was that made them "happy illusions" and "comfortable."

That does make more sense -- you gained some distance, saw that you wanted to move away from those aspects of your former self, but also saw why leaving the old mindset behind might have left a lingering "botherdness" or "subtle longing" that was difficult to pin down?

Is that even close?