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TheOtherDave comments on Recent de-convert saturated by religious community; advice? - Less Wrong Discussion
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The distinction I had in mind is that between "I promised I wouldn't X, and I Xed, but I continue to consider myself bound by that promise and I would like us to consider that an isolated failure" on the one hand, and "I promised I wouldn't X, but I no longer consider myself bound by that promise and would like us to consider it no longer in force."