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jwhendy comments on Recent de-convert saturated by religious community; advice? - Less Wrong Discussion

30 Post author: jwhendy 04 April 2011 03:25AM

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Comment author: jwhendy 20 April 2011 03:37:53AM 3 points [-]

meaning to argue with someone until you deplete his stack of objections: though possible, a frustrating and time consuming effort it is...

Indeed! In fact... the stack is never ending, I'm finding :)

I also agree about uncritical nodes. This seems to have happened quite naturally, and even in cases where I didn't think the nodes were even uncritical. I'd estimate that 50 out of 300 people in my religious community know. Most of those know, but don't ever say a word to me because they didn't find out except by gossip and probably just pretend they don't know (but they tell my wife they're praying for "our situation," so I know via her that they actually do know...).

What's interesting is that 2 who were in my weekly men's small group, contact pretty much stopped contacting me at all except when they need help with something (I got asked to help move furniture off a truck for one's in-laws) or when there's a larger party that my wife is invited to, and I get invited by extension.

Anyway, I found it quite interesting that contact even with them, who I thought I had a closer relationship with, dropped off so severely and suddenly.

I suspect that as the word gets out, most of these nodes will prune themselves anyway. I find that the friendships that "stuck" were those that had more going for them than pure religious agreement.

Comment author: MrMind 20 April 2011 08:21:07AM 2 points [-]

Too bad this kind of shock can't be produced systematically... it would be a wonderful way to detect 'false' friends.

Comment author: jwhendy 20 April 2011 07:56:23PM 1 point [-]

Indeed. There's probably just not enough intensely dividing subjects to repeatedly be able to pull something like that off. Just keep changing religions and political affiliations? :)