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GabrielDuquette comments on [LINK] Ethical Pick-Up Artistry (Clarisse Thorn) - Less Wrong Discussion
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Comments (111)
What goals do you think you'd be unable to achieve by following these guidelines?
Well, for example, take the point (1). Taken as literal and universal advice, "[s]how what you're feeling; say what you're thinking" is insane -- obviously, if you really blurt out your honest feelings and opinions to everyone at all times, you will destroy your whole life rapidly. Ah, but of course, it's not meant to be taken literally, but with subtlety and finesse. However, for those who are capable of grasping this subtlety and finesse, the advice is completely trite, and for those who aren't, it merely says "[s]how what you're feeling; say what you're thinking -- except when you shouldn't." That's not at all helpful to someone who is clueless about when he shouldn't do it, and what he should do instead in each such situation. The rest of the list is no better.
I defend this approach not because I discovered it and then used it, but because I came to it independently through years of trial and error. I was that inept guy you describe, and what worked for me was deciding to make every mistake I could make on purpose. I learned that many social conventions are quite flexible and somewhat easily manipulated by someone who has developed an immunity to shame by exposing themselves to it over and over again... but ultimately not manipulating the situation you're in is more beneficial. With some exceptions.
So, finding these guidelines so coincidentally well laid out was a pleasant surprise.
Surely you meant to ask a more specific question.
Hmm. Is it considered poor etiquette on LW to establish your question through conversation? I'm really asking.
I'm teasing!