I defend this approach not because I discovered it and then used it, but because I came to it independently through years of trial and error. I was that inept guy you describe, and what worked for me was deciding to make every mistake I could make on purpose. I learned that many social conventions are quite flexible and somewhat easily manipulated by someone who has developed an immunity to shame by exposing themselves to it over and over again... but ultimately not manipulating the situation you're in is more beneficial. With some exceptions.

So, finding these guidelines so coincidentally well laid out was a pleasant surprise.