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GabrielDuquette comments on [LINK] Ethical Pick-Up Artistry (Clarisse Thorn) - Less Wrong Discussion
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I was going to ask "why not apply the same energy you put toward PUA techniques to enhancing your awareness of easy, real connection?" but then I realized:
1) I don't know how to isolate the qualities of true connection, so it's unfair to ask anyone else to spontaneously know them. Frankly, I could be bullshitting myself.
2) You might still need the PUA stuff to talk to the person once you've become aware of your connection to them.
I see now that it would be as foolish to dismiss the usefulness of PUA techniques as it would be to dismiss the usefulness of this book.
EDIT: I thought about it even more, and I've used PUA techniques a ton! Except that I figured them out myself, through trial and error, and saw them as a means to an end. The end in this case being to obtain necessary interpersonal nutrients. I never forgot, though (if I may abuse the metaphor), that love is real and it's preferable to pickup in the same way a hot, home-cooked meal is preferable to vitamin supplements. I actually bonded over this fact with many of the girls I successfully picked up. We were on the same quest, after all.
EDIT 2: Furthermore, ignoring existing interpersonal theory and making your own mistakes from scratch may also make you better at paying attention to what is actually going on around you. Unlike a martial arts expert who, instead of resolving a conflict peacefully whenever possible, just wants to kick somebody's ass.
A martial artist who is violating the spirit (and pragmatics) that form the core philosophy of most martial arts communities. There is much that can be taken from this analogy.
Yes, but people are inclined to formalism nonetheless.
I'm not sure how formalism relates to the context.
I might be presenting an unfair caricature of how PUAs operate, but it seems to me that by the very virtue of operating within a prescribed formal structure, you're necessarily going to notice some things more than others. And they might be wrong things. And you might stick to form because it's what you have.
If you're constantly engaged because you're trying to develop your own understanding of interpersonal stuff, then you're probably less likely to experience formal blindness.
I understand what you mean by formal now. (Without necessarily agreeing with your prediction of how best to facilitate awareness.)
Let's say you'd never heard of PUArtistry. You're in a bar (or venue of your choice). What are your objectives and how do you meet them?
Right now I don't have any such objectives (and so haven't gone to any bars in a while). You would have to specify what objectives prompted me to go there as part of your counterfactual.
This depends on the aforementioned objectives. For most likely objectives a plan would most likely involve approaching many women, flirting and conversing.
I don't have the faintest idea about how I would do that assuming I had no exposure to bodies of knowledge about how such things work. I suspect very badly. Reinventing the wheel would take huge amounts of effort and be a massive waste of my time.
I'm trying to establish the best way to stay aware of one's authentic needs re: companionship, love, and sex. And how to meet those needs.
Also,
This feels like a gigantic assumption to me.
For me it isn't so much staying aware as it is becoming aware. The journey to self awareness is one of the most important steps to actually getting what you want.
Again for me personally learning about human psychology in general, including human sexual dynamics, was one of the most effective ways of reaching that level of personal and interpersonal awareness. As I learned the theory all the pieces of the puzzle started falling into place. The body of experiences that I had collected from social interactions and observations started fit together and make sense. Like waking up from a dream.
You asked for a prediction about a counterfactual scenario and call my best guess, which was mostly an expression of doubt, a gigantic assumption? That is rather rude.