Many would say that equal footing in courtship is not the default and disadvantage is not something they need to settle for.

Not shooting for equal footing is settling. Unless they are more motivated by winning, in which case, it's a category error on my part.

EDIT: I just want to point out that, in this discussion with you, I'm simultaneously motivated by a desire to win and a desire to have the most accurate understanding of the world. But, I bet you know which one I'm more motivated by. And more importantly, why.