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MrMind comments on Influence = Manipulation - Less Wrong Discussion

2 Post author: Barry_Cotter 14 June 2011 05:47PM

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Comment author: MrMind 15 June 2011 09:40:33AM *  1 point [-]

Well well... having been involved in the PUA community for quite a long time made me ponder this theme a lot. This is how I see it.

First some definition: regarding personal data, a truth is some fact that is true of us, and a lie is some fact that is false of us. Regarding behaviours, a truth is some behaviour that is sustainable, i.e. can be indefinitely repeated, either because it is a habit or because we have the intention to persevere in doing it. A lie is then defined as some unsustainable behaviour, that is something we do with effort without the explicit, conscious intention to repeat it.

Then, in my book, revealing a truth and omitting a lie is influence, and revealing a lie and omitting a truth is manipulation (that is, morally despicable). In table form

---------- Reveal --------- Omit

Truth ---- Inf. ------------- Man.

Lie ------ Man. ------------ Inf.

This table spurs a number of interesting and, in some cases, counter-intuitive moral tenets. For example, if I have a big car and I tell to a girl that, it's influence. Of course it's manipulation if I don't own a fancy car. On the line below, buying a drink for a girl when I don't normally buy drinks for people I don't know, that's manipulation (revealing a lie). OTOH, if I'm shy around women that I don't know and I'm attracted to, but not shy around women I know and I'm attracted to, then trying to be at ease around women in the first group amount to sustainably omitting a lie, which makes it influence and not manipulation.

Regarding the behaviour indicated by the OP: 1 - influence if she normally does that, manipulation in the other case; 2 - normally influence; 3 - normally influence, depends on the shyness of the flirter; 4 - same as above; 5 - usually manipulation, again it depends; 6 - same as above; 7 - depends on the choice career of the mother: did she choose job security? If so, influence, in the other case, manipulation; 8 - depends on the mother: if she cared about her son, influence, otherwise, twisted manipulation.