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muflax comments on Discussion: Socially Awkward Penguin as a tool for unraveling social enigmas - Less Wrong Discussion

23 Post author: Raw_Power 17 June 2011 12:52AM

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Comment author: [deleted] 17 June 2011 09:15:48AM 8 points [-]

One thing that helped raise my confidence level and made many of these problems magically disappear is resistance training.

I'll just quote RAW on that:

Whenever you meet a young male or female, ask yourself consciously, 'If it came to hand-to-hand combat, could I beat him/her?' Then try to determine how much of your behavior is based on unconsciously asking and answering that question via pre-verbal 'body language'.

It didn't take much to get good results. After I put on 10kg (75->85 at 185cm) and got strong enough to actually do some push-ups, most people didn't feel threatening anymore.

(Well, and probably knowing that almost everybody will avoid fights at all costs, so you could do lots of damage even if you're a skinny nerd, but just are willing to actually attack. But only knowing this alone didn't do it, I actually had to gain some strength. I don't intend to ever actually get into a fight, but I run on hardware that cares about this crap.)

Comment author: NancyLebovitz 17 June 2011 07:55:17PM *  5 points [-]

I'm 4'11" and not athletic. I occurred to me that if I was afraid of people for being bigger than me, I'd go around being afraid of people all the time, so I pretty much shut off that part of my mind off. I grant that this is presumably easier because I haven't be subject to much physical assault.

So far, this policy hasn't made my life any worse.

Comment author: CronoDAS 21 June 2011 05:09:44PM *  3 points [-]

You're also female, over 21, and not in prison. When you're a 11-year-old boy and don't get to choose your own peers, someone being bigger than you is, well, a big deal.

Comment author: NancyLebovitz 21 June 2011 05:35:48PM 0 points [-]

I'm surprised at the number of upvotes my comment got. I think people took it as more general advice -- and more generally feasible-- than I intended.

Comment author: wedrifid 21 June 2011 04:55:57PM 0 points [-]

I'm 4'11" and not athletic. I occurred to me that if I was afraid of people for being bigger than me, I'd go around being afraid of people all the time

Imagine you are 4'11" and packing.

Comment author: Raw_Power 17 June 2011 02:39:24PM *  3 points [-]

That's an interesting perspective. Though I don't know for you, but when I start reguarly working out, I feel a lot happier, like, constantly, but I also feel less witty and more stupid, for some absurd reason. Endorphins? According to Swartzenegger, being at peak muscle power feels like cumming all the time... . That can't be good for thinking clearly...

On the OTHER hand, actuial martial-arts training can have the opposite effect: the techniques taught in "Do" style arts are so impractical, so forced and so context-specific, you find yourself fearing fights to happen because you're afraid of botching your moves. This is especially true in the lower levels or when you haven't learned the fundamentals, but I know a Taek Won Do black belt who is still terrified of sparring with me, even though her moves are incredibly precise and quite redoubtable... as long as you don't catch her leg...

Oh, and the problem with practical martial arts is that you're afraid of not holding back proprely and ending up commiting manslaughter or something generally gory. This was a real problem with LINEAR: the moves being useful for killing and virtually nothing else, and being simple to the point of being reflexes, got many a drunk Marine in trouble.

I'm really veering off-topic here, yes?

Comment author: [deleted] 17 June 2011 02:51:30PM 2 points [-]

Interesting side-effect. Something like this happened to me when I was taking anti-depressives, and the direct euphoria after a good workout does make it harder to think carefully. Doesn't last long, though, while the confidence boost is more or less permanent.

Maybe do some push-ups when you need to engage with other people and listen to Nick Drake if you need to think? ;)

Comment author: Will_Newsome 18 June 2011 12:35:14AM 0 points [-]

Though I don't know for you, but when I start reguarly working out, I feel a lot happier, like, constantly, but I also feel less witty and more stupid, for some absurd reason. Endorphins?

Testosterone.

Comment deleted 17 June 2011 12:02:31PM *  [-]
Comment author: [deleted] 17 June 2011 12:16:04PM 3 points [-]

Yeah, it's one component, but not the whole solution.

Don't know about approaching humans as part of dating, never did it. Only had one relationship and I found myself talking to a girl for a couple of hours, I realized I enjoyed it, told her so, she agreed, girlfriend for a while. Stopped it once I realized I didn't like her enough to spend much time with her (not interesting enough), didn't try again because I found people not very interesting in general.

(Also, what Hul-Gil said.)

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