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shbrill comments on Discussion: Socially Awkward Penguin as a tool for unraveling social enigmas - Less Wrong Discussion

23 Post author: Raw_Power 17 June 2011 12:52AM

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Comment author: shbrill 22 June 2011 12:21:39PM 4 points [-]

A technique: I defuse awkwardness by smiling and (humorously) describing the situation. In other words, I recognize when an uncomfortable silence is about to happen, and break it immediately by talking. Using the examples from the SAP video:

  • No one laughs at my joke: Say "Er, that was funny in my head, but I guess you had to be there"
  • Someone mentions that I'm online 24/7: Say "I leave the computer on while I'm out or asleep"
  • Holding the door for a person too far away: Say "I regret this. You'll have to run"
  • I wave back at person not actually waving at me: I guess saying "Ha!" is sufficient to get an understanding. Maybe wave at both people.
  • I trip over my feet: Say "Damn feet are in my way"
  • I have just made a huge noise in a public restroom: Say "Ahhh"
  • I don't understand what someone is saying, even after the third time: Interrupt and say "I still have no clue what you're saying. Is it important?"
Comment author: Maelin 28 June 2011 02:41:53PM 1 point [-]

I like this. I find this kind of lampshading technique very helpful, provided you can lampshade in a way transforms the awkwardness into humour. For instance, if I have just made a foolish mistake, I will often say something like, "Wow. That was pretty embarrassing." as if I am marvelling at my own foolishness in amusement, rather than feeling shame.

People in conversation are generally not malicious and awkwardness is usually considered undesirable by all participants. It doesn't take a lot of effort to defuse it.

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