You're thinking business. It's politics. Thus, crazier-looking strategies — say, an associated hunger strike; not a suggestion, just an example — are allowable and justified, but you still only get 500 words. In particular, you do not care about any loss of status if you fail. Also, low-probability impacts — anything > one in a thousand chance — are still worth it.

As for "they'll never read 500 words", assume that that problem is resolved. You have elevator time or at least a guarantee that they will read through your pitch.