If you don't say that only conscious agents can collapse waveforms, then you have to agree that something in the box collapses the waveform as seen from inside the box, while it's still uncollapsed to Schroedinger.
I don't understand this claim. If I think collapse can occur without conscious observation (say by the interaction of microscopic and macroscopic systems, however that distinction may be drawn, or by some spontaneous dynamical process) why would I have to agree that the waveform is still uncollapsed to Schroedinger? You seem to be assuming here that Schroedinger's epistemic state is relevant to whether or not the waveform is collapsed to him, but I thought the whole point of this option was to render Schroedinger's epistemic state (and, indeed, his status as a conscious agent) irrelevant to the situation.
The idea of the non-collapsed waveform is that there are two systems that haven't interacted; and each is indeterminate to the other until they interact.
But you can have any number of nested systems, each of which may or may not have interacted with the system it is contained in. If the cat in the box can be in an indeterminate state to Schroedinger, then Schroedinger and the cat can be in an indeterminate state to someone out in the hallway. Whether Schroedinger has opened the box or not.
The Copenhagen interpretation doesn't admit of the possibility tha...
Suppose you believe in the Copenhagen interpretation of quantum mechanics. Schroedinger puts his cat in a box, with a device that has a 50% chance of releasing a deathly poisonous gas. He will then open the box, and observe a live or dead cat, collapsing that waveform.
But Schroedinger's cat is lazy, and spends most of its time sleeping. Schroedinger is a pessimist, or else an optimist who hates cats; and so he mistakes a sleeping cat for a dead cat with probability P(M) > 0, but never mistakes a dead cat for a living cat.
So if the cat is dead with probability P(D) >= .5, Schroedinger observes a dead cat with probability P(D) + P(M)(1-P(D)).
If observing a dead cat causes the waveform to collapse such that the cat is dead, then P(D) = P(D) + P(M)(1-P(D)). This is possible only if P(D) = 1.
If you don't say that only conscious agents can collapse waveforms, then you have to agree that something in the box collapses the waveform as seen from inside the box, while it's still uncollapsed to Schroedinger. And Schroedinger's opening the box collapses that waveform for him; but it is still uncollapsed for someone outside the room. This seems like it might be equivalent to many worlds - all possibilities already exist; you just haven't chosen which one you're going to access until you open the box.
But if you do say that only conscious agents can collapse waveforms, then it's something about their mental processes that does the collapsing. This could mean their beliefs matter. And then, the cat is always dead.
ADDED: People. Read the entire post before responding. I am not claiming that the cat is always dead. I am not claiming that consciousness collapses waveforms. I am claiming that there are only 2 known alternatives:
If you can't produce another alternative, and you don't believe in many-worlds, you owe me an upvote.
Finally, this post is supposed to be fun! You are crushing all whimsy and playfulness on LessWrong when you pile downvotes like bricks on anything playful because it does not provide a complete and satisfactory resolution.