There are plenty of very valid criticisms of my horribly writing here that have been repeated a few times each, but the one about my 'conclusion' adding too much new content is spot-on and original.

Does the added notes at the beginning as a replacement for the whole long thing help? Like with the shorter more immediate list of references (and the clarification of why I wanted to put that information about Michel Thomas in there, despite having to shoehorn it in)?