As far as I can tell, this is a definitional dispute. There are many traits that females express in modern society. I take essentialist theory to be saying that all of these traits are based in sex, not in gender.
As you say, this is wrong - lots of these traits are gender and would disappear if feminist social engineering succeeded. Only those traits actually based on sex would remain
I was criticizing the position you expressed that men have literally nothing to say about the dividing line between female gender and female sex. For example, a man can say "Getting pregnant is an expression of sex, not gender" or "Wearing dresses is an expression of gender, not sex."
You seem to have targeted a problem that I don't care about, so we've miscommunicated at some point.
Men have literally nothing to say about the experiences of women under patriarchy, which is the basis of feminism.
Upon reading Eliezer's possible gender dystopias ([catgirls](http://lesswrong.com/lw/xt/interpersonal_entanglement/), and [verthandi](http://lesswrong.com/lw/xu/failed_utopia_42/) and the other LW comments and posts on the subject of future gender relations, I came to a rather different conclusion than the ones I've seen espoused here. After searching around the internet a bit, I discovered that my ideas tend to fall under the general category of "postgenderism", and I am wondering what my fellow LessWrongians think of it.
This can generally be broken down to the following claims:
EDIT- Due to some really insightful comments;
I replaced men being prone to aggression as a negative, with men being prone to suicide.
I made the verbiage a little more explicit that no one would be *forced* to change, but would seek out the changes that transhumanism would have available.