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billswift comments on Several Topics that May or May Not deserve their own Post - Less Wrong Discussion
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Valuing someone else more than yourself is problematic, as in "you have problems"; see Peter Breggin's discussion in The Psychology of Freedom. A better way of putting what I think you are trying to say is from Heinlein, "where the other person's happiness is essential to your own" (paraphrase from multiple sources, especially Stranger and Time Enough for Love).