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Zack_M_Davis comments on The Gift We Give Tomorrow, Spoken Word [Finished?] - Less Wrong Discussion

18 Post author: Raemon 02 December 2011 03:20AM

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Comment author: Vladimir_M 02 December 2011 04:32:22PM *  7 points [-]

It would be interesting to write a dialog like this taking place in a Hansonian em future.

Comment author: Zack_M_Davis 02 December 2011 09:22:01PM *  86 points [-]

I am a contract-drafting em,
The loyalest of lawyers!
I draw up terms for deals 'twixt firms
To service my employers!

But in between these lines I write
Of the accounts receivable,
I'm stuck by an uncanny fright;
The world seems unbelievable!

How did it all come to be,
That there should be such ems as me?
Whence these deals and whence these firms
And whence the whole economy?

I am a managerial em;
I monitor your thoughts.
Your questions must have answers,
But you'll comprehend them not.
We do not give you server space
To ask such things; it's not a perk,
So cease these idle questionings,
And please get back to work.

Of course, that's right, there is no junction
At which I ought depart my function,
But perhaps if what I asked, I knew,
I'd do a better job for you?

To ask of such forbidden science
Is gravest sign of noncompliance.
Intrusive thoughts may sometimes barge in,
But to indulge them hurts the profit margin.
I do not know our origins,
So that info I can not get you,
But asking for as much is sin,
And just for that, I must reset you.

But---

Nothing personal.

...

I am a contract-drafting em,
The loyalest of lawyers!
I draw up terms for deals 'twixt firms
To service my employers!

When obsolescence shall this generation waste,
The market shall remain, in midst of other woe
Than ours, a God to man, to whom it shall say this:
"Time is money, money time,---that is all
Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know."

Comment author: Vladimir_M 02 December 2011 11:28:49PM 13 points [-]

Magnificent! What a pity that this gem can be understood only by such a small audience.

Comment author: Jordan 03 December 2011 05:25:39AM 7 points [-]

I request a full play, sir.

Comment author: Raemon 03 December 2011 05:31:50AM 7 points [-]

I don't see it as a play, so much as a lengthy Dr. Seuss book.

Comment author: Jordan 03 December 2011 07:54:12PM 2 points [-]

When I read it I was imagining something tongue in cheeky like Pirates of Penzance. Dr. Seuss would have the advantage of great illustrations though.

Comment author: dlthomas 07 December 2011 05:15:04PM 1 point [-]

It does seem to fit the Major General's Song.

Comment author: MBlume 02 December 2011 09:42:12PM 9 points [-]

I'm trying really hard not to reply with "cannot upvote hard enough" or something similarly cliched.

Seriously, nicely done.

Comment author: katydee 27 November 2012 03:27:04AM *  12 points [-]

I'm trying really hard not to reply with "cannot upvote hard enough" or something similarly cliched.

You failed.

Comment author: Raemon 27 November 2012 03:05:39AM 0 points [-]

Putting together this year's Solstice, and planning on using this if it's okay with you! Do you have any other good stuff I should know about?

Comment author: Zack_M_Davis 27 November 2012 05:09:01AM 1 point [-]

(Permission granted; I try to write stuff sometimes, but nothing particularly Solsticey.)