My apostasy was nothing like that, there was a large sense of confusion, and the discomfort of holding conflicting beliefs while things resolved themselves but not loss.
From conversations with less rational people, I get the feeling that having a sense of discomfort from holding conflicting beliefs is in itself rare.
Sam Harris, in his recent article called The Fireplace Delusion, tries to make you feel what it's like to react to a cached belief being irreparably destroyed. Just incase you forgot what your apostasy (if you had one, of course) was like in its early stages.
What are some of the Fireplace Delusions you've come across in your days?
EDIT: WOODSMOKE HEALTH EFFECTS