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juliawise comments on How do you notice when you're rationalizing? - Less Wrong Discussion
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When I get into a particular negative emotional state, I make up reasons that I feel that way. When I start a sentence with a bitter "Fine!" or "I should have known better," it's a guarantee that the next statement out of my mouth ("you obviously don't care", "there's no point in cooking for you because you hate food," etc.) will be something I know to be false but that, if it were true, would explain why I feel rotten. Physically, the cue is me turning away from the person I'm speaking to. The actual explanation, "I like tomatoes, and I want you to like them too" or "I'm tired" or "My brain chemistry might be out of whack" are not as satisfying to say out loud as a condemnation of the other person.
(nods) Boy, am I familiar with this one.
That said, I have found that saying the actual explanation with all of the nonverbal signals of the false-but-satisfying condemnation is startlingly satisfying for me. My closer friends have learned to accept it as a legitimate move in our conversations; most of them respond to my explanation and ignore my bodyparl.
It puzzles third parties, though.
So a haughty back-turn combined with "I had a bad day and I'm taking it out on you" is satisfying? Hmm, I'll have to try that.
Yup. Dunno if it works for anyone else, but it delights me that it works for me.