I appear to be really bad at being annoyed at people on LW without getting downvoted
Don't take it too hard: everyone, everywhere, is really bad at being annoyed at people in general without getting some sort of status hit. This has a lot more to do with the person's reaction to "being annoyed at" and a lot less to do with anyone's skill at "being annoyed at" people.
Well, that wasn't clear at all. There is no safe, good way to be annoyed at people, because people mostly don't like it when someone's annoyed at them. Most of these people will then retaliate in some manner that's supposed to be unpleasant. This is the case online and off.
Sounds profound, but none of that helps you deal with these people when you're annoyed, does it?
I think the answer lies in examining why you want to be annoyed at them: for example, if it's to change their behaviour, then you only need look for more effective ways to change their behaviour than being annoyed. I don't claim that changing their behaviour is your goal in being annoyed; but you should subject whatever reason you do have to some scrutiny and figure out another, potentially more effective way of achieving that goal or goals.
I have decided that it would be valuable for me to read books (blog posts, articles, random conversations between smart people who store chatlogs) about introspection, take notes, and try to distill and clarify the information. This could result in me eventually giving up, or in a Luminosity Sequence: Second Edition (Now With Literature, Part Of This Complete Breakfast!), or (optimism!) me being able to sort ~90% of people into some number of categories such that their category membership tells me how to help them develop luminosity superpowers in N simple steps with exercises/therapy-ish stuff/etc.
Help me eat luminosity! I need recommendations for stuff to read. This stuff should be:
I read really fast. Don't worry about oversaturating me with recommendations, but please do say a little about why you recommend a thing (even if it's "I haven't read this, but I keep hearing about it, so I guess some people like it") and post recommendations in separate comments so people with information about the item can vote up and down separately. Recommendations for non-written things will be heavily discounted but not outright disqualified.
I would also like a supply of guinea-pigs-in-waiting for if and when I get to the point of trying the sorting or the superpower-giving part of the optimistic end state of the project.
If people want me to, I can document the process of luminosity-eating so there is a template to follow for other subject-eating projects, but I wouldn't do this by default because in general I only do things that someone would care if I didn't do them.