vaguely person-like, e.g. uses clever Bayesian machine learning algorithms found by computational cognitive scientists

:)

Yes, but an embarrassingly naive application of Laplace's rule gives us a two-thirds probability it'll happen again.

:))

(By the way, we seem to disagree re "epistemicly" versus "epistemically"; is "-icly" a rare or incorrect construction?)

It sounds prosodically(sic!) awkward, although since English is not my mother tongue, my intuition is probably not worth much. But google appears to agree with me, 500000 vs 500 hits.