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scientism comments on Why do people ____? - Less Wrong Discussion
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Communication has become casual now. You need to think of it more like a suggestion, or like a tweet, where the person is under no obligation to reply. Communication is no longer a rare or difficult thing and social conventions have come to reflect its ease and ubiquity. Unfortunately, for some people, this is also true of dating.
Do you mean to say this is for every piece of communication? Because that seems extremely weird and alien to me in situations, for example, where there has already been some back and forth, or to a lesser extent when there is a specific question.
I would say there's no longer an obligation to reply inherent in the communication but the subject matter might involve such an obligation. So if it's a casual conversation it might simply end without comment, but if it involves work duties or some kind of definite situation that needs to be coordinated, then you're right to be offended.
Say you make specific plans together, then do not show up.
I'm not particularly offended, I'm just mildly confused. This seems like an easy opportunity to say "sorry I'm busy" or some other casual disengagement.
I'd personally consider that extremely rude. I've met people who appear to think it's not a big deal though. They'll arrange something with you but will arrange five other things simultaneously and will choose which one to attend at the very last minute. Presumably they think you're in the same position.
Well I do think it's rude but I would also understand if they were busy or had some reason for not wanting to see me (i.e. started dating someone else and didn't want to hang out any more) that I would understand if they had said <5 words to me, then I don't feel like I should really get too much more offended than I would be if I pretended I'd heard the words.
Anyway I agree that that is a rude habit to be in, and that the illusion of transparency can make it destructively hurtful.