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Nisan comments on The ethics of breaking belief - Less Wrong Discussion
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Some ethically relevant questions you could ask yourself:
If you deconvert your friend, do you predict they'll thank you for it afterward or express regret at losing their faith?
Would you approve of your more adept friends pushing analogous levers in your own head? (For example, I welcome people to cause me to doubt my preconceptions, but I don't want people to use my fears to manipulate me.)
I don't see the first question as particularly relevant. Suppose the prediction is that after deconverting they will be grateful, what would that prove? (Cf. the Gandhi murder pill example: Killer!Gandhi is happy that he took the pill.)
The second question is a better one, and I like the distinction you make for your case. Generalizing, I'd say it is ok for thelittledoctor to give rational arguments against their friends' beliefs (as long as he or she does not do it in a pushy, obnoxious way, but when the topic arises naturally) but not to use "Dark Artish-levers".
The first question is a difficult one to answer - more specifically, a very difficult one to get a theist to answer genuinely rather than just as signalling.
I would approve of more-adept friends pushing analogous levers in my own head (emphasis 'friends' - I want them to be well-intentioned), but I am weird enough to make me wary of generalizing based on my own preferences.